Cheese Processed Food
by Cheese Processor
Summary: Find out wut happens when 4 students become caught up in a inter-dimesional struggle
1. Legolas Arrives

I am happy to be joining the many fanficcers everywhere this will probably be my longest fanfic since it started as an actual book I am writing

You may notice a similarity in this and the story _Attack of the Rolling Cheese,_ better known as _Cheese_, well that is because **Cheese Girl** and I are friends. I started writing this shortly after she started _Cheese_. As you might know, at the beginning of _Cheese_ Adrienne is trying to make **Legolas Greanleaf** appear, this story is if he didn't appear, at least not at that point in time. Also any reference to other authors work is only for readers enjoyment so don't sue me.

Read and enjoy.

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Chapter 1 Legolas's Arrival

It started one day at South Fayette Middle School. (note: we are now in high school) Adrienne, a bright young girl, probably the valedictorian of her class, was performing a séance like thing to make Legolas Greanleaf appear. Her friend Andy, a bright kid who does not know how to use it, was looking on dumbfounded. "It is time," said Adrienne, "Professor Greenleaf, when is our next archery lesson. It did not work, she was supposed to go into her Harry Potter world and act like Harry. (note: yes we have imaginary worlds, but get over it, we all have our flaws)

"See, I told you it wouldn't work," Andy said with a smirk. He soon after started laughing, "Make Legolas appear my but. Ha! Pathetic." Adrienne's face quickly became a bright red with embarrassment. She stood up grabbed the nearest blunt object, her purse, and hit Andy in the head with it. " Eiah, what in the hel… damn what was the for, ow," Andy moaned

Whack whack "Watch your mouth Andy," Liz said hitting him with her purse. She had been reading, rather looking at her Kenny Chesney portfolio.

"Yeah" Jessica said hitting Andy too.

"Stop! You bitches, god" he said in pain.

"You are dismissed," a voice said.

"Finally," Carl said

On their way to swim Jill and Adrienne were talking, all the while being laughed at and pestered by Andy. His annoyance was mainly directed towards Adrienne in response to her failure earlier that day. Jill though had had enough. She turned around and threatened Andy's life. "What can you do?" he said. That's when Jill gave Andy "the stare." The stare feels as if a thousand ways to die are all happening to you at once. Andy backed off and cowered in fear. Adrienne also became a little uneasy, though it was not directed towards her.

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Swimming went as it always did. At the end of class Mr. Mizaco, the swim teacher, said if they wanted to they could stay in for five more minutes. Only Andy, Adrienne, Jill, and their friend Nick stayed in. Suddenly an inter-dimensional portal opened above them. A canoe promptly fell out of it and landed on Nick's head. "Hello," said a handsome, blonde haired elf. His hair was so beautiful that at first sight it looked like he was wearing a silk bonnet. His eyes were entrancing, the irises resembled a cloudless sky and his pupils resembled two deep black jet. (note: for those of you who don't know jet are the black precious gem)

"Oh my god, its Legolas," the three conscious kids said

"Is that boy drowning?" Legolas asked

"Nooooo," said the swooning Adrienne.

"But if you want you can jump in and take a swim," Jill said almost commandingly.

"Oh wait, no, he his not swimming," Andy said. As you probably know, inhabitants of Middle Earth swim naked.

"Why," Adrienne and Jill complained.

"Yes, why," Legolas said, "I do enjoy a good swim

"Well uh… you see er… oh yah, the water is very acidic and you need magical protection to swim in it."

"That's okay, we elves have protection from acid." (note: yes that is made up but deal)

"What? Oh darn, please Adrienne, Jill, help me, I'm here."

"Time to get out of the pool…"

"Phew, saved by the 'taco'."

"… and someone get that unconscious, drowning boy out of the pool." (one last note: taco is name given to Mr. Mizaco by his students)

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Thx for reading, I hope you enjoyed.

P.S. plz review

P.S.S. make sure to read _Attack of the Rolling Cheese_

P.S.S.S. make sure to read the newly written, _Attack of the Rolling Cheese Part II_


	2. The Fun's Just Starting

Yay I am glad to already be on chappie 2. I hate typing so if there is a lag between updates don't be mad. But know that the first 10 chappies will be on pretty quickly since they have already been written. 11 is almost done but I had a brain fart, a summer long brain fart. But hey that is far away from chappie 2.

Read and enjoy

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Chapter 2 The Fun's Just Starting

After they got dressed Andy, Jill, Adrienne, and Legolas, who was never undressed in the first place, met in the hall. "So how'd things go in the locker room?" Adrienne asked Andy.

"Not too well."

"What do you mean?"

"Some kids were messing with his ears and calling him gay."

"So what happened?"

"Well let's just say, dismembered body parts can't bother anyone."

"What! Who all did he kill?"

"Just a few."

"Who!!!"

"Everyone."

"What?!"

"You heard me, ev-er-y-one"

All the while Jill was swooning over Legolas. When Adrienne noticed this, she quickly started competing with her.

"Okay ladies," Andy said interrupting the swooning, "I think Legolas should come with me."

"Why?" they both wined.

"Cuz we don't want Legolas getting ripped in half."

"Wha-wha-what?!" Legolas said very confused and somewhat scared.

"Fine he can go with you," Adrienne said disappointedly.

"Don't let anything happen to him," Jill demanded.

"What's going to happen, he's Legolas. And even if anything did happen what could I do."

As usual Landis, the science teacher, was late and of course she blamed it on the students. You see, her and Furraro were having an affair. (note: his real name is Ferraro but the kids call him Furr- cuz lord knows he has any) When she walked in, of course, the first thing she said was, "Andy, shut up." And, of course, Andy wasn't talking. "Oh, hello," Landis said swooning over Legolas. "Why are you sitting next to that foolish brat?" aiming the insult towards Andy, "Come sit next to me," she said with a smile.

"No!" Andy said as Legolas stood up.

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing," and with a smirk Legolas walked over to her desk. "I do not approve of you hitting on me. Secondly, it is unjust to accuse Andy of wrong doing and foolishness." With that Legolas took out his twin blades and decapitated the bitch.

Yay, the bitch is dead, sry I just really hated her, along with every other student in my grade. Well that is the end of chappie 2, thx for reading hope you enjoyed.

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P.S. plz review.

P.S.S. if you haven't yet make sure to read _Attack of the Rolling Cheese_

P.S.S.S. as mentioned in the last chappie, read _Attack of the Rolling Cheese Part II_


	3. Some New Friends and Enemies Arrive

Yay chappie 3 chappie 3, sry if I scare you. If you were wondering I am crazy but hey that's what keeps me goin. This chappie is one of the longest. It has some more blood shed and some more world wide girl love toys appear. When do I get to meet a cute girl. Waaaaah. T.T Well that is coming yay. :-)

Read and enjoy

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Chapter 3 Some Friends and Enemies Arrive

"So how did Science go Legolas?" Adrienne asked.

"Great!" Andy exclaimed with an expression of glee.

"I didn't ask you," Adrienne scolded rather peeved, but then she got a look of concern on her face, "Since when do you like Science?"

"Since Legolas came," he answered jumping up and down like a crazed, disturbed monkey.

"Your point," she said becoming peeved again.

"Legolas killed Landis."

"Yay!!!" Adrienne said joining in the jumping celebration.

After a few minutes of Andy explaining what happened Jill came out of Furraro's with Stephanie. By the odd look on her face something was wrong.

"What is troubling you fair maiden Jill," Legolas said chivalrously.

"Oh, hi Legolas. Sorry not even you can cheer me up right now."

"Huh?!" the three happy children gasped.

"I have an F in History. My parents are going to kill me."

"Don't worry will just kill this "Furry-ar-o." With that, Legolas reached back into his quiver. Retrieved an arrow. And shot it directly into Furraro's head.

"That won't work, her grade is on the Internet," Stephanie pointed out. (note: if you were wondering our school has this program that puts our grades on the internet. It really sucks. It's gotten me grounded like 20 times. T.T)

"Then we will destroy this in-tery-net."

You can't," Adrienne said.

"Actually you can, you just need to connect a hijockufier to the mimble bimble and then add in a kuflabiwich and take out the flibum flabum," a random passing Kaiting rambled off.

"What did he say?" Legolas was very confused by the point.

"He said you can't," Andy answered giggling.

"Actually, I know a way," said a mysterious voice.

As they turned around they saw a man with "silky" brown hair. "Oh… my… god, it's, it's…" Andy and Stephanie stuttered.

"Orlando Bloom!!!" Adrienne and Jill yelled.

"Hello," Legolas said, not phased by the man shaking his hand, "you look an awful lot like me, in a human way of course."

"I had a feeling something weird was happening. Galadriel contacted me in a dream. She told me you'd be here."

"So can you help fair maiden Jill with her in-tery-net problem?"

"Yes come with me."

Orlando and Legolas exited the hall to the stairwell. Andy and Stephanie were left with the other two, mouths gaping. Andy finally came to his senses, Steph try to wake up Adie and Jill," he said realizing where the two had gone. He ran as fast as he could but it was too late. By the time he got to the main computer lab Legolas had mutilated everyone inside. Orlando was standing outside dumbfounded.

"Wow," Orlando said, "he has a short fuse, doesn't he?"

"Nah," Andy replied, "he just has, um… uh…"

"Bloodlust, Savvy," said another mysterious voice.

Andy turned around, got the nearest blunt object, his notebook, and hit himself in the head. "Ah, too many people that shouldn't be here. Something is severely wrong with the time space continuum."

"What is wrong?" said another voice.

"Ah, you should not be here," Andy said, again hitting himself with his notebook.

"Ahh!!! Johnny Depp, Captain Jack Sparrow!" yelled the three girls who had made their way down the stairs.

"All done fixing the in-ter-net," Legolas said walking out of the lab, "Hey, I said it right."

"Ahh!!!"

"Oh who now, Justin Timberlake." Unfortunately the girls weren't screaming about some guys looks. When Andy turned around he saw the girls being abducted by Captain Barbosa and his army of undead pirates. Andy quickly grabbed Jack's gun. He couldn't decide whether to shoot Barbosa or himself.

"Wait for the opportune moment," Johnny said as he slowly lowered the gun from Andy's forehead.

"Hey, that's my line, savvy," Jack complained.

"Here's your gun Jack," Andy said, "let's save the girls."

Orlando and Legolas quickly jumped on top of the largest pirate. Jack and Johnny quickly pulled of some Chang Ba, the Chinese art of fighting drunk, on the pirates tying up the girls. (note: believe it or not Chang Ba is real stuff:-) ) Andy opened every locker and filled his book bag with as many books as possible. He tried to lift it, but found it to be too heavy. That's when he thought of a brilliant idea. "Hey, fatso," Andy yelled at Pintel, the head goon. "One eye, too poor to get a glass one," he then yelled at Rayetti. He positioned himself in front of the lockers. The goons charged at him but ended up with their heads in lockers when he quickly moved. He then began to furiously bang the doors into them, knocking out Rayetti's wooden eye. He persisted until he realized the rest of his compatriots had been captured. "Uh oh," he groaned looking at the many pirates surrounding him. "There's plenty more lockers."

"Do you think we our stupid enough to fall for that?" Barbosa asked sarcastically.

"Maybe, it was worth a try."

"Get him Jack," Barbosa said to his chimp. It leaped out at Andy, but he quickly moved out of the way again. Jack slammed into the locker as Andy quickly slammed the door shut and spun the lock.

"Hah, not even I know the combination to that lock." (note: so how did I get it open earlier. Hm…)

"No problem," Barbosa said taking out his gun and shooting the lock. The door opened revealing a crazed chimp. Jack jumped out and onto Andy's head. Andy began to scream and run around in circles.

"Andy watch out for that…" Adrienne began to say before it was to late, "…wall. I knew he wouldn't save us."

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Yay, chappie 3's done. Boy that sure took long to type.

Thx for reading. Hope you enjoyed.

P.S. plz review

P.S.S. make sure to read _Attack of the Rolling Cheese_. Very good

P.S.S.S. make sure to read the newly written, _Attack of the Rolling Cheese Part II_


	4. An Intimate Discussion

Yay on to chappie 4. I have been keeping my promise and adding a chappie everyday. It's not easy though. Especially when you hate typing. And like I've said I hate typing. It drives me crazy it is the ultimate evil. Okay so maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. But hey I really do hate it. This chappie is definetly Adrienne's fave. At least out of the ones I have already written. There are some to come that she will really like :-)

Read and enjoy

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Chapter 4 An Intimate Discussion

"Ayuuh," Adrienne yawned, "Where am I?" She looked around noticing her friends and she were all locked in rusted, metal cages. In luck, she was locked in the same cage as Orlando Bloom. Adrienne also noticed she was the only one awake. She thought to herself, "I am the only one who can save us." She looked around for her purse but could not find it, "Shit, those pirates took my purse. Wait, I think my nail file is in my pocket." She reached into to pocket and pulled out her wooden nail file and began to scrape away at the steel cage. The noise awoke Orlando.

"What are you doing?" he asked holding back a yawn, and a laugh.

"What's it look like I'm doing?"

"Trying to file your way out of a steel cage with a dull wooden file. Sorry to say, but the only thing that will do is start a fire?"

"Well excuse me Mr. fancy pants actor."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad."

"No, I'm sorry, it's just that that sounded like something Andy would say. We compete in everything, 99.9 percent of it I win. Anyway, he's always trying to point out any flaw I make. It really pisses me off."

"Well if you ask me, he likes you. Us guys are weird when it comes to flirting." (note: teeheehee :-) )

There was a silence, a very long silence, until Adrienne spoke up, "Do you have a nail file. I know that you're kinda into the metrosexual thing."

"Nah, sorry, since I get my nails done professionally I don't carry one."

"Boy, it must be great to be…" Adrienne began to say realizing she shouldn't go on.

"To be what?" Orlando asked, already knowing what the answer would be.

"Well…rich…and famous."

"Not really, I'm never in one place for long. I never have a moment of peace, and it gets annoying having girls always swooning over me."

"Oh, I'm sorry." sniff sniff

"No no no, you're different, you treat me like I'm normal, not a science project."

"Well, at first I did, not the whole experiment thing, just that you were different. But now I see... you are."

"What?"

"You are different, we all are, but you're not some alien. You sleep the same, yawn the same, talk the same, and I see now I was wrong to judge you.I lo…"

"Alright wake up!"

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Well there you have it chappie 4. Quite a cliffie, huh? Not really...

P.S. plz review

P.S.S. READ _ATTACK OF THE ROLLING CHEESE_

P.S.S.S READ _ATTACK OF THE ROLLING CHEESE, PART II_


	5. The Slavery

Yay it is time for chappie 5. This is a very fun chappie. It really shows my stupidity. If you haven't figured it out I am Andy. Most of the people in this story are real besides characters that you know to fictional like **Legolas**. I am actually rather smart, no where near as bright as Adrienne, but definitely not as dim as **Legolas** is in our world. Note of protection, I am only saying he is dim in our world cuz well he doesn't understand anything, so please don't come after me in a massive horde, carrying pitchforks and torches, to lynch me.

Read and enjoy

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Chapter 5 The Slavery

"Wake up, wake up, WAKE UP!" yelled Pintel.

"Wakey wakey," followed Rayetti, sarcastically.

"Ayuuh, where am I?" Legolas said yawning. He looked down and saw Andy sleeping in his lap.

Thump "Ow, what happened," Andy said looking up and seeing Legolas arms stretched out as though he had pushed something. (note: which he did push something)

"Well you were laying on my lap and…" Legolas began to say before a bewildered Andy cut him off.

"Wait! What?"

"You were laying on my lap, is it really that hard to understand?" Legolas said not understanding why Andy was so upset by it.

"Adrienne, was I really?" he asked hoping for the an answer to relieve his mind.

"Yep," Adrienne said cutting down Andy's hope and thinking to herself, "he's lucky."

"She's right," Orlando said, as though once wasn't enough, getting rid of any last hope Andy had.

"That's uncomfortable, Legolas if you are going to kill me, do it quick," he said closing his eyes and cringing his teeth.

"Don't worry, if I had planned to kill you, you would have been dead five minutes ago," he replied with a smirk to ease Andy's discomfort, though it did the complete opposite.

"Oh, that's wonderful. I'm locked in a cage with a blood lusted elf," Andy said going into a state of panic and horror. He soon though observed something that brought him down to earth, "Hey, these cages look familiar."

"Like you've seen them in a movie," Adrienne hinted.

"No that's not it," he responded with utmost stupidity.

"What an idiot," she said in response to and stupidity.

"I have it," Andy said snapping his fingers. He was rather delighted with himself, "this is the same metal my bed is made of."

"Aaah," Adrienne and Orlando groaned, as they fell over, as characters in Animé often do.

"These are the cages for PotC!!!" Adrienne screamed in anger, beginning to breathe heavily.

"What's PotC?" Andy asked the way a little kid would.

"Pirates of the Caribbean you idiot!!!" Adrienne yelled even louder, now at the point of hyperventilation.

"Would ye all shut up?" Pintel yelled.

"Yah, and wake up yours friends and then get on deck," Rayetti ordered.

"Uh, how do we get out of the cages," asked Legolas and Orlando at the exact same time. (note: freaky huh :-) )

"That was weird," Adrienne observed.

"It's like they are somehow connected," added Andy.

"Back to the point," the pudgy one interjected, "your cages have been open this whole time, cuz even if you got out you could not kill us."

"Oh," the three awake humans answered, as the two goons walked away.

"What did he mean? We can kill them, can't we?" Legolas said rather confused. The other three just looked at him, a small expression of fear on their faces. "Why can't we kill them?"

"You don't want to know," answered Andy.

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I'm sure all of you know why they are unable to kill the pirates. Poor Legolas, so confused and uninformed.

P.S. plz review

P.S.S. read _Attack of the Rolling Cheese_

P.S.S.S. _Attack of the Rolling Cheese Part II_, people I know if you read it or not


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